Facebook Rash

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3 views · Added 13d ago · 5 definitions

1
A person who stalks you on Facebook like a crazy person and talks about everything you do, even if it's boring.
Hey, I saw you posted about your cat's hairball. What's next? A post about your cat's hairball diet?
You went to a sandwich shop? I'm going there right now. I'll beat you up if you don't like the sandwich.
You changed your profile picture again? Is that your new obsession or just your new face?
2
The worst kind of friend who comments on your every move like they're your boss and you're their employee.
You posted a photo of your breakfast? I'm going to post a photo of my breakfast and say it's better than yours.
You changed your status to 'bored'? I'm going to change mine to 'super annoyed because of you.'
You posted a picture of your dog? I'm going to comment 'your dog looks like my ex.'
3
A person who comments on your Facebook posts like they're your ex and you're still in love with them.
You posted a picture of your vacation? I'm going to comment 'I wish I was there instead of you.'
You changed your profile picture again? I'm going to comment 'That's not your face, that's my face.'
You posted about your new job? I'm going to comment 'You're still not as good as me.'
4
The kind of person who comments on everything you do on Facebook like they're your mom and you're still a kid.
You posted about your new phone? I'm going to comment 'That phone is too expensive for you.'
You changed your status to 'happy'? I'm going to comment 'Don't be too happy, you still have to do your chores.'
You posted a picture of your dinner? I'm going to comment 'That's not a dinner, that's a disgrace.'
5
A person who comments on everything you post on Facebook like they're your enemy and they're trying to ruin your life.
You posted about your new car? I'm going to comment 'That car will break down in a week.'
You changed your profile picture? I'm going to comment 'That's not a picture, that's a mistake.'
You posted about your new job? I'm going to comment 'You're going to fail in that job.'
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