facebook popper
A Facebook popper is someone who logs on just to check who's online and then instantly logs off like they were told they had to eat a whole pie in one bite.
He logged on, saw his mom was online, and popped off like he just got assigned homework.
She checked who was online, saw no cool friends, and logged off like she was running from a pie monster.
He logged on, saw no one cool, and popped off like he was escaping a food coma.