Facebook News

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The place on Facebook where your friends post random crap about their lives, and you have to pretend you care.

My friend just posted a photo of his cat wearing a hat. I commented 'Looks like a hat is wearing a cat.'

My cousin posted that she 'ate 10 tacos for breakfast.' I replied 'You’re not even a taco.'

My ex posted that she’s ‘happy and single.’ I sent her a message that said ‘Still single? I’m not surprised.’

The absolute worst thing to ever happen to the internet. It's like someone took a dump in your face and called it a new experience.

My mom posted that 'Facebook News is the worst thing since sliced bread.' I said 'Mom, it’s not even bread.'

My teacher posted that 'Facebook News is the new homework.' I replied 'I’d rather do homework.'

My dog posted that 'Facebook News is the worst thing ever.' I think he ate my keyboard.

The stupid new Facebook layout that makes your brain hurt. It’s like Facebook got a bad haircut and didn’t know what to do with itself.

My friend tried to post a photo and it looked like a puzzle. He said ‘This layout is a nightmare.’

My mom tried to message me, but it took her 10 minutes to find the button. She said ‘This is worse than my ex.’

My teacher posted that ‘This layout is so bad it deserves a detention.’ I gave her a thumbs up.

The new Facebook design that everyone hates. It's like Facebook got hit by a truck and then someone put a sock on it.

My friend tried to post a status and it looked like a chicken scratch. He said ‘This is the worst design I’ve ever seen.’

My mom posted that ‘This layout is like a sock on a truck.’ I said ‘That’s not even a metaphor.’

My teacher said ‘This layout is so bad I want to give it a C-minus.’ I said ‘That’s not even a grade.’

The dumb new Facebook look that no one wanted. It’s like Facebook tried to be cool and ended up being a disaster.

My friend posted a photo and it looked like a mess. He said ‘This layout is a disaster.’

My mom posted that ‘This new design is the worst thing since the invention of the sock.’ I said ‘That’s not even a real thing.’

My teacher posted that ‘This layout is so bad I want to fail the class.’ I said ‘That’s not even fair.’

The most annoying thing on Facebook. It’s like someone took a dump in your brain and called it news.

My friend posted that ‘Facebook News is the worst thing since the invention of the sock.’ I said ‘That’s not even a real thing.’

My mom posted that ‘Facebook News is like a brain dump.’ I said ‘That’s not even a thing.’

My teacher posted that ‘Facebook News is the worst thing since the invention of homework.’ I said ‘That’s not even a thing.’

The Facebook version of the news that makes your brain explode. It’s like your friends are constantly trying to annoy you with their lives.

My friend posted that ‘I ate 10 tacos for breakfast.’ I said ‘You’re not even a taco.’

My mom posted that ‘I’m happy and single.’ I said ‘Still single? I’m not surprised.’

My teacher posted that ‘This news feed is the worst thing since sliced bread.’ I said ‘That’s not even bread.’