Your mom posted that she got a new dog. I said, 'Oh, I knew you were going to get a dog. You've been talking about it for weeks.' She looked at me like I was a psychic.

Your brother posted that he broke up with his girlfriend. I texted him, 'You're single now? I knew it.' He said, 'You didn't even ask me.'

Your friend posted about how she got a promotion. I said, 'That’s why you’ve been acting so smug all week.' She said, 'You were watching me?'