facebook junkie

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1 views · Added 4d ago · 3 definitions

A person who would rather die than log off Facebook. They can’t focus on anything else. They’ll skip meals, ignore their kids, and even forget to breathe if it means they can keep scrolling.

I’m not lazy, I’m just Facebook-fasting.

I had to eat a sandwich in the car just to get back to my feed.

My kid asked me if I was alive, and I said, 'No, I’m on Facebook.'

by Slangipedia 4d ago

A person who can’t live without Facebook. They check it more times a day than they check their pants for holes. They’re like a dog with a bone, except the bone is a post from their ex.

I just saw a post from my ex and now I’m crying in the toilet.

I checked Facebook during a fire alarm. I survived the fire, but I’m still on my phone.

I had to cancel my dating life to keep up with my feed.

by Slangipedia 4d ago

A person who signs into Facebook like it’s a religion. They post every time they blink. Their life is a series of updates, and their followers are just people who don’t know how to say no.

I posted about my cereal at 3 a. m. and now my followers are judging me.

I updated my status every time I walked into a room.

I posted a selfie while I was pooping, and now I’m famous.

by Slangipedia 4d ago