Facebook Hibernation
When you take a break from Facebook so long that your friends think you're in a different country and your mom thinks you're dead.
'She hasn't posted in five months. I think she's in a coma.'
'He came back from a trip and had 200 notifications. He looked like he'd been tortured.'
'My mom called me and said my dad was missing. I checked Facebook and saw he was just posting selfies in the grocery store.'