Facebook Hampster
The Facebook Hamster is the friend who follows your life like it's a soap opera, but when you try to catch up, they’re too busy watching their own life and making you feel bad about yours.
You post a photo of your meal. They reply with a photo of their meal. Then they don’t reply again.
You message them about your life. They reply with a link to their life.
You post a break-up. They comment with a link to their ex.