facebook fucked

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1
When something you post on Facebook turns your life into a nightmare. You'd rather be dead than live through the embarrassment.
My ex posted a photo of me eating a taco at 2 a. m. and captioned it 'This is what happens when you fall apart.'
I posted a rant about my mom and now she's messaging me every hour.
My crush saw my 'I hate everyone' status and now he thinks I'm a psycho.
2
When you fake being nice to someone who's being a slob just so they can add you on Facebook the next day. They're probably a weird Asian girl who was high, hugged you way too much, and showed up at 2:30 a. m. with cake and peach schnapps.
She said I was 'amazing' just to add me. I'm still trying to forget that hug.
He pretended to like my profile just so he could friend me. He's the worst.
She smiled at me like I was her best friend, then added me the next day. Classic.
3
When you go to someone's Facebook, click 'view more photos,' and then you just jack off to all the pictures you see.
I clicked 'view more photos' and jacked off to my crush's vacation pics.
I saw my ex's ex's vacation pics and jacked off in class.
I looked at my friend's Instagram story and jacked off in the bathroom.
4
When Facebook decides you're not worth talking to and kicks you out of Facebook Chat or won't let you message your friends. It's like Facebook is telling you to go to hell.
I tried to message my crush, but Facebook wouldn't let me. I was crushed.
Facebook logged me out of Chat when I was in the middle of talking to my crush.
I tried to message my best friend, but it just said 'Error 404: You are not worthy.'
5
When you have Facebook Chat sex with someone. It's like the worst kind of online dating.
I had Facebook Chat sex with my crush and now I can't look him in the eye.
I did Facebook Chat sex with my friend and now I'm the worst.
I had Facebook Chat sex with my crush and now I'm the school legend.
6
When someone logs into your Facebook while you're logged in and changes your profile to something absurd. They usually change your sexual orientation, picture, and interests to something ridiculous.
My crush changed my profile to 'bisexual' and added 'I like dogs' to my interests.
My friend changed my picture to a cat and said I was 'a total mess.'
Someone changed my profile to 'I like pizza and I'm a vampire.'
7
When you're either talking to your crush nonstop on Facebook or you post too many statuses about them. It's like you're trying to get attention and failing.
I messaged my crush 10 times in a row and now he's ignoring me.
I posted 20 statuses about my crush and now he thinks I'm obsessed.
I had a 3-hour conversation with my crush on Facebook and now I can't stop thinking about him.
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