facebook fingering

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When a couple texts each other love notes on Facebook like they're in a middle school diary club, and it's so annoying it makes your teeth hurt.

'I love you more than pizza', said by someone who hasn't eaten in a week.

'You're my favorite person, even though you forgot my birthday.', said by someone who forgot their own name.

'I can't live without you', said by someone who can't live without their phone.

That stupid pose where people stick their finger next to their lips like they're trying to seduce a fish, and it's honestly the worst thing ever.

'Look at me, I'm so hot', said by someone who looks like they just woke up from a nap.

'I'm taking this photo like I'm in a movie', said by someone who's never seen a movie.

'I'm fabulous', said by someone who smells like old socks.

When you're so obsessed with Facebook that you're constantly flexing your fingers like you're trying to show off your whole life at once.

'I'm posting this because I'm important', said by someone who's never been important.

'I'm updating my status because I'm bored', said by someone who's never been bored.

'I'm taking a selfie because I'm famous', said by someone who's never been famous.