Facebook Dating

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3 views · Added 17d ago · 7 definitions

1
It's when you friend a total stranger on Facebook just so you can pretend you're dating them. Then you like their stupid posts, comment on their selfies, and send them messages that sound like they came from a bad rom-com.
I friended my barista just to make her think I was into her. She asked if I wanted a latte. I said, 'Only if you're in.'
My cousin started liking every post from this guy she met at the gym. Now she's messaging him about his abs.
I friended my neighbor’s mom just to mess with him. He thought she was single.
2
When you look at someone's Facebook pics and get a boner so hard it could beat a horse. You're basically jerking off to their face, and you don't even know it.
I looked at my coworker's vacation pics and got so hard I almost knocked over my coffee mug.
My friend was staring at his ex’s Instagram and was jerking off in the bathroom.
I saw my crush's face in a group chat and got a boner so strong I had to leave the room.
3
Facebook made a dating app just so they can spy on you even more. Only use it if you like fat chicks and single moms who have kids from three different exes.
I signed up for Facebook Dating and now my ex is messaging me. She’s got a kid from someone else.
My cousin used it and now she’s dating her high school crush’s brother.
My mom joined Facebook Dating and now she’s talking to a guy who has three kids.
4
When you fake being in a relationship with someone on Facebook just to look cool. You two act like you’re in love, but you’re just friends in real life.
I put my best friend as my boyfriend on Facebook. Now my crush thinks I’m taken.
My brother and his friend started dating on Facebook just so they could look cool in class.
My friend started dating her teacher on Facebook so she could skip homework.
5
When you and your friend post something silly on Facebook and it blows up with comments. It’s like your whole school is commenting on your stupid post.
My friend and I posted a meme about math class, and it got 50 comments. Now everyone in school knows we’re weird.
We posted a funny video of our dog, and now our whole class is commenting on it.
My friend and I posted about our crush, and now everyone in our school is commenting on it.
6
When you change your Facebook relationship status to someone just because you like them. It’s fake, but it feels good.
I put my crush as my girlfriend on Facebook. Now he texts me every day.
My friend put her best friend as her boyfriend on Facebook. Now they’re texting every hour.
I changed my relationship status to my teacher just so I could get out of detention.
7
When a woman lies about her age on Facebook so she looks younger. You have to guess her real age by looking at her old school photos or graduation pictures.
My crush hides her age on Facebook. I had to look at her old high school pictures to figure out she’s 28.
My friend’s mom hides her age, and I had to check her college photos to guess she was 40.
My crush’s sister hid her age, and I had to look at her old yearbook to figure out she was 30.
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