Facebook 101

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The class you wish you had when someone posts every single stupid thing they ever did, and they make everyone else look like a genius.

I once ate a whole pizza for breakfast. And I don't mean *one slice*.

My ex said I smell like old socks. I told him he smells like regret.

I posted a video of myself crying at a vending machine. It got 3 likes.

The punishment you get when someone shows off their worst moments like they won an Oscar.

I posted a selfie with my face half-eaten by a raccoon. My mom liked it. My dad blocked me.

I told my boss I was sick. Then I posted a video of me eating ice cream in the office.

I made a whole status about my cat hating me. It’s true.

The class where people think sharing their deepest humiliation is the same as being cool.

I posted a video of myself falling off a chair. It’s not funny. It’s just sad.

I told everyone I got a D on my math test. Then I posted a photo of my head in a trash can.

I sent a DM to my crush saying I love them. Then I posted it on my wall.

The class you sign up for when someone posts every stupid thing they ever did, and they think it’s a badge of honor.

I posted a picture of my face covered in glitter. It was a Monday. It was a mistake.

I told my crush I’m in love. Then I posted it on Facebook. Then I cried.

I sent a group message to my whole class saying I’m the best. Then I posted it on my timeline.

The class where people think posting their worst moments online is the same as being popular.

I posted a video of myself singing in the shower. It’s not a talent. It’s a nightmare.

I told my crush I’m obsessed with them. Then I posted it for everyone to see.

I posted a picture of my face after I cried in public. It got 2 likes.

The class you get when someone thinks showing their worst moments is the same as being a legend.

I posted a video of myself yelling at my mom. Then I said it was a masterpiece.

I told everyone I got a C on my test. Then I posted it with a crying emoji.

I sent a DM to my crush saying they’re the best. Then I posted it for the world to see.