Facebirthing

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5 views · Added 17d ago · 4 definitions

A woman posting on Facebook like she's dying while a baby is screaming in the background.

'My water broke and I'm 100% sure I'm gonna die. Also, my dog just ate my wedding ring.'

'I think I just gave birth to a gremlin. My kid looks like a gremlin.'

'I gave birth in the parking lot. My kid is crying and my car is broken.'

When you see your friend's Facebook post about a baby and you're like, 'Wait, you were pregnant? Who told me?'

'I saw my friend's baby pic and I was like, 'You had a kid? I didn't even know you were pregnant!'

'My friend posted about her baby and I was like, 'You were pregnant? I thought you were just getting fat!'

'I saw my coworker's baby post and I was like, 'You had a kid? I didn't even know you could have kids!'

A person who thinks your birthday is wrong because Facebook said so, even if you told them it was wrong.

'My birthday is April 5th, but Facebook said it was March 2nd, so now I think I was born in March.'

'I told my friend my birthday was January 1st, but Facebook said it was December 31st, so now I'm confused.'

'My birthday is June 10th, but Facebook said it was June 11th, so now I think I was born on the wrong day.'

When you update your Facebook status every minute like you're in a race with the baby to see who can scream louder.

'I'm 10 cm dilated and I just posted, 'I think I'm gonna die.''

'I posted, 'I can feel the baby coming,' and then I posted, 'I can feel the baby coming harder.''

'I posted, 'I'm in labor,' then I posted, 'I'm in labor and my kid is screaming.'