'You said dogs are better than cats? I have a dog and he’s the worst.', posted on my brother’s Facebook after a long day of work.

'You said ice cream is the best thing ever? I eat ice cream and I still hate you.', typed on my friend’s page during a group chat.

'You said the ocean is blue? It’s more like a sick green from all the plastic.', posted on my cousin’s wall during a family argument.