facebalking

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1 views · Added 4d ago · 7 definitions

When you stalk people on Facebook so much that you don’t even have time to say the words ‘Facebook’ and ‘stalking’ separately because you’re too busy watching them update their profiles like they’re on a never-ending show.

I Facebalked my ex for 2 hours straight because she posted a photo with her new guy and my dog.

I Facebalked my teacher because she posted that she got a raise and I got a D.

I Facebalked my mom because she posted that she finally stopped crying after my brother left.

by Slangipedia 4d ago

When you post something stupid or offensive on Facebook and then delete it immediately because you’re scared your mom, dad, and cousins will see it and you’ll be the laughing stock of the family.

I posted that my dog ate my mom’s hair and then deleted it because my dad was watching.

I posted that my sister’s new haircut looks like a raccoon and then deleted it because she was on the phone.

I posted that my brother’s job is worse than mine and then deleted it because he was right behind me.

by Slangipedia 4d ago

When you’re too lazy to add someone on Facebook, but you’re still mad that you have to look at their face every time you log in.

I didn’t add my cousin because she posted a photo of me eating pizza and I looked like a mess.

I didn’t add my teacher because she posted that I failed math again.

I didn’t add my friend because he posted that I still haven’t returned his phone.

by Slangipedia 4d ago

A person who stares at people on Facebook like they’re going to die, or someone who throws up on your face and says it was all part of the plan.

My facebalker friend stared at me for 10 minutes because I posted that I like tacos more than pizza.

I got facebalked by my brother because I posted that he’s the worst at video games.

My facebalker cousin threw up on me because I said his haircut was bad.

by Slangipedia 4d ago

When you stalk someone on Facebook using their photos, phone number, and address, just so you can follow them in real life and maybe even throw a tantrum if they don’t text you back.

I stalked my crush on Facebook because he put his phone number up and I called him 10 times.

I stalked my enemy because he had his address up and I wanted to send him a letter that said ‘you’re the worst.’

I stalked my friend’s brother because he had his screen name up and I wanted to log in as him.

by Slangipedia 4d ago

When you waste your life stalking people on Facebook and you don’t even have time to do your homework or eat your lunch.

I Facebalked my crush for an hour and missed my math test.

I Facebalked my teacher because she posted that I was the worst student.

I Facebalked my mom because she posted that I still haven’t washed my clothes.

by Slangipedia 4d ago

A person who hasn’t joined Facebook yet, so they don’t know what they’re missing and they probably still use the phone they had in 2005.

My grandpa isn’t on Facebook because he still uses a flip phone and thinks the internet is just a place for cats.

My uncle isn’t on Facebook because he still uses a phone with a keyboard and thinks it’s fancy.

My cousin isn’t on Facebook because she still uses a phone from 2010 and thinks it’s the future.

by Slangipedia 4d ago