You said you could beat anyone at chess. I said I could beat you blindfolded. You said I was lying. I said I was telling the truth. Now your face is on fire.

He said I was a joke. I said he was a punchline. He laughed. I hit him with a fire extinguisher.

She said my hair looked like a raccoon ate it. I said hers looked like a raccoon threw up on it. Now her face is melting.