face snatch
A face snatch is a man with a beard that looks like it came from a woman’s pubic hair and a dirty sock.
My uncle is a face snatch. His beard is like a raccoon crawled into his face.
My brother’s friend is a face snatch. His beard is so gross it smells like gym socks and mold.
My dad’s coworker is a face snatch. His beard is like a hairy rug that smells like regret.