Face-sense

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2 views · Added 14d ago · 4 definitions

1
The power to read a Facebook post and not lose your mind. It's like having a brain, but also a filter.
My uncle posted a rant about how he can't live without his toaster. I had to leave the group chat.
My ex posted a status about how she's happy and in love. I commented, 'You're still married.'
My mom posted a photo of her cat wearing a hat. I replied, 'That's the most dramatic hat I've ever seen.'
2
The skill of knowing when to comment, when to laugh, and when to just hide the post forever.
My cousin posted a photo of his dog wearing sunglasses. I commented, 'That dog is trying to be cool.'
My friend posted a 10-paragraph rant about his job. I said, 'You're still employed.'
My brother posted a meme about how he's rich. I replied, 'You still eat pizza.'
3
The gift of knowing that a Facebook post is not worth your time. It's like having a brain and knowing when to use it.
My aunt posted a 5-minute video of her cooking. I said, 'You're still alive.'
My cousin posted a status about how he's in love. I replied, 'You still have a job.'
My mom posted a photo of her cat doing nothing. I commented, 'That's the most dramatic nothing I've ever seen.'
4
The art of seeing a Facebook post and not screaming into the void. It's like having a brain and a sense of humor.
My uncle posted a rant about his job. I said, 'You still have a job.'
My friend posted a 12-paragraph rant about his life. I replied, 'You're still alive.'
My brother posted a photo of his dog wearing a shirt. I said, 'That dog is trying to be cool.'
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