Face card season
Face card season is when it's so cold you dress like a snowman with a face. You can't show your body, so people just look at your face and start calling you names.
'He looked like a snowman in a blazer, and everyone said he was ugly.'
'She wore a hat, scarf, and a coat and still got called a face card.'
'I wore a sweater like a blanket and still got told I was a hot mess.'