Face card season
Face card season is when it's so cold you wear so much you look like a wrapped gift. People can't see your body, only your face, and that's when the insults start.
'He looked like a present with a face, and everyone said he was the worst gift ever.'
'I wore a jacket like a second skin and still got mocked.'
'She wore a hat and a coat and got called a face card by her mom.'