fabulous dickhead

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A man who thinks he's god but can't even tie his own shoes properly.

"I'm the best at everything. Even my socks know it.", Putin after a failed sock tie.

"He tried to take over the world but forgot to brush his teeth.", A tweet from a confused kid.

"He’s like a king, but his crown is just a hat he found in a dumpster.", A DM from a tired teacher.

A man who wears a suit but still smells like a goat that’s been eating trash.

"He came to the meeting wearing a suit and a goat.", A coworker's description of Putin's arrival.

"He smells like a goat that’s been eating trash for 10 years.", A tweet from a kid in the back of the class.

"He’s like a goat in a suit, and the suit is also a trash can.", A DM from a kid who’s been breathing it in all day.

A man who thinks he's a superhero but can't even beat up a chicken.

"He tried to punch a chicken and got pecked.", A kid’s report on Putin’s failed chicken fight.

"He’s like a superhero, but his powers are just fake news.", A tweet from a kid who saw the chicken fight.

"He’s a chicken puncher with no punch power.", A DM from a chicken who’s been punched.