fabio rock

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1
Fabio rock is like 80s hair metal, but instead of being all about partying and getting laid, it’s about fake love and wearing too much cologne. It’s basically romance novels with a band.
My mom still thinks Steelheart is the best band ever because they look like they stepped out of a soap opera.
My uncle texted me: 'House of Lords is the only band that makes me feel like I could be a prince.'
I tried to explain Fabio rock to my kid, and he just said, 'Dad, that’s just dad rock with a shirt.'
2
Fabio rock is for guys who think they’re Casper from the 80s, but they’re actually just sad and wearing too much hair gel.
My friend’s dad still listens to Whitesnake and cries every time he hears 'Still of Mind.'
At my cousin’s wedding, the DJ played Lion and my aunt started singing along like she was in a musical.
My brother said, 'Steelheart makes me feel like I could be a heartthrob, not just a heartburn.'
3
Fabio rock is the reason your uncle thinks he’s a rock star and still wears a suit to concerts.
My mom said, 'David Coverdale is like the 80s version of a boy band member.'
My dad’s playlist is all Fabio rock and he calls it 'the sound of my youth.'
At my brother’s bar mitzvah, the DJ played House of Lords and my uncle started doing the wave.
4
Fabio rock is like the 80s version of a boy band, but with more hairspray and less sense.
My friend’s mom still thinks Steelheart is the best band ever because they look like they stepped out of a soap opera.
My dad said, 'I can still rock out to Lion like I’m 20 again.'
At my sister’s wedding, the DJ played Whitesnake and my uncle started crying like it was the 80s all over again.
5
Fabio rock is when guys think they’re the main character of a romance novel and not just a guy with a bad haircut.
My brother said, 'House of Lords is the only band that makes me feel like I could be a prince.'
My uncle texted me: 'I still listen to Steelheart like it’s the 80s all over again.'
My mom said, 'David Coverdale is like the 80s version of a boy band member.'
6
Fabio rock is the kind of music your dad plays when he’s trying to impress your mom and it’s just sad and awkward.
My dad said, 'I can still rock out to Lion like I’m 20 again.'
My uncle started crying at a Whitesnake concert like it was the 80s all over again.
My brother said, 'House of Lords is the only band that makes me feel like I could be a prince.'
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