E.P.T. (Estimated Poop Time)
How long you have before your butt explodes from holding it in like a coward.
My E. P. T. is 2 minutes. I'm sprinting to the bathroom like I'm being chased by a giant squirrel.
I have 5 minutes left on my E. P. T. I'm already thinking about the floor of the toilet.
My E. P. T. is 1 minute. I'm literally crying because I can't hold it anymore.