Ebenitus
A crazy sickness that makes you wanna fuck John, eat his cum, let him poop in your mouth, drink his sick juice, and just be a total piece of trash. Pills called "Anti John, Just for Eben" can fix this at any drugstore.
I got Ebenitus after seeing John in a speedo.
Ebenitus hit me when John laughed at my failed math test.
I got so bad with Ebenitus I had to take 10 pills just to survive lunch.