ebay fanatic
A guy who thinks he's rich because he bought a broken lamp for $2 and now spends all his free time hunting for the cheapest couch ever made, even though it looks like it was hit by a truck.
I found a couch for $10. It's falling apart. I'm rich.
That chair cost $5. It’s got more holes than my ex’s promises.
I just bought a table that’s probably older than my grandfather.