eatshitbestiebae

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a nagging hot mess who thinks she's the queen of everything and flips her lid over tiny problems

She yelled at me for spilling coffee on her new shoes. I didn't even touch the coffee.

She called me a loser because I forgot her birthday. It was on a Tuesday. Who remembers that?

She started a fight in the grocery store because the milk was on the wrong shelf.

a lesbian who acts like she's straight because she's obsessed with guys who wear lipstick and have huge titties

She told me she was dating a guy. I saw him wearing a pink blazer and a glittery shirt.

She said she was into guys. Then she started crying because her crush didn't like glitter.

She said she liked guys. Then she texted me a photo of her crush's biceps. I asked why. She said, 'They're beautiful.'