Eatonism

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A magical glow around a guy that makes every girl in the room instantly want to kiss him, even if he smells like old socks and regret.

Bro, he walked in and I immediately wanted to marry him. I don’t even know why.

He just walked past me and I felt like I was gonna die from how hot he was.

That guy walked in and I lost my best friend. She’s now his girlfriend.

A fancy, posh way of saying you’re digging for food, only cool people use it, and if you use it and aren’t cool, you’re getting a face full of elbow.

I’m not just digging for food, I’m doing it in a British way. You’re not even cool enough for that.

He said ‘grubbing’ like he was royalty. I just called him a poser.

She tried to say ‘grubbing’ and got called a peasant. That’s how you know she’s not cool.

A British guy who acts like a gangster in every situation, even if he’s just at the supermarket.

That guy at the checkout was like, ‘I’m a gangster, you’re just a customer.’

He dressed up like a gangster to go to the grocery store. That’s dedication.

He even called the manager ‘boss’ when he was just arguing about the price of bread.

When you eat while riding a portable donkey, like you’re in a race to see who can eat the most fast food before they get home.

He ate a whole pizza while riding a donkey. I think he’s gonna explode.

She ate a burger, fries, and a milkshake while riding a donkey. That’s dedication.

He was eating like a maniac while riding a donkey. I think he’s gonna win the donkey race.

A person who can’t live without a fix, even if they have to borrow money from their mom to get it.

He’s always begging his mom for money just so he can get his fix.

She’s always on credit, even if it means she can’t buy food for a week.

He’s like a junkie, always needing a fix, even if he has to take out a loan.

A town where the streets are rough, the water is gross, and the school is so bad it turns smart kids into dummies.

That town is so bad, even the water is gross. I’ve seen blowfish in the river.

The school there is so wild, they wear radiation suits just to tell kids off.

I went to that school, and I came out dumber than when I went in. That’s a real thing.

A guy from a book who is super hot, super tough, and somehow also a teacher. He’s also known as Four because of his four fears.

He’s the hottest guy in the book, and he’s also a teacher. That’s a real combo.

He’s got four fears, and he’s also super tough. That’s how you know he’s a real man.

He’s from Abnegation, but he’s now in Dauntless. That’s how you know he’s a real badass.