eating contest

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A competition where Americans try to eat like pigs, only to be out-eaten by a tiny Asian guy who seems to have a stomach made of magic.

My cousin ate 10 hot dogs and passed out. The Japanese guy ate 20 and still had time to text his mom.

I lost a bet and had to eat a whole pizza in 2 minutes. I looked like a sad, bloated raccoon.

At the contest, the guy from Japan ate so fast, he looked like a vacuum cleaner with a mouth.

A situation so bad, it’s like everyone in the room is trying to make it worse on purpose, even if they don’t realize it.

My mom and her best friend got into a fight over who had the better pizza. Now my whole family is involved.

I spilled my soda on my boss, and now the whole office is laughing at me.

My dog ate my homework, and now I’m fighting with my teacher.

A Navy party where sailors get blowjobs from random women, like it’s a free buffet and everyone is hungry.

My uncle got 3 blowjobs in one night and still had time to drink a whole bottle of whiskey.

At the party, the guy next to me got a blowjob from a woman who looked like she just got out of prison.

The Navy contest was so wild, even the dolphins were watching.

A contest where people try to eat as much poop as possible in 32 minutes and 16 seconds, like they’re trying to win a cursed prize.

My brother ate so much poop, he looked like he had a second stomach.

The winner of the contest ate so much poop, he threw up and then ate it again.

At the contest, the girl ate so much poop, she got a stomach ache and a new nickname.

A big group of ladies having a wild time, with some extra fun thrown in for good measure.

My friends had a lesbian orgy at my house, and it was so wild, the neighbors called the police.

At the party, everyone was having so much fun, even the cat joined in.

The lesbian orgy was so loud, my mom thought the house was on fire.

A party where guys take turns giving blowjobs to ladies so fast, it’s like a hot mess of fun and frustration.

My friend gave blowjobs to 3 different ladies in under a minute, and he looked like he was going to pass out.

The guy at the party gave blowjobs so fast, he looked like a robot.

At the contest, the guy gave blowjobs to 3 women, and then he had to run to the bathroom.

When someone tries to fit as many dongs in their mouth as possible, like it’s a personal challenge and they’re not going to back down.

My friend tried to fit 10 dongs in his mouth and looked like a confused fish.

At the party, the guy tried to fit 5 dongs in his mouth and couldn’t breathe.

My cousin tried to fit as many dongs in her mouth as she could, and now she has a sore throat.