eat the paper

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When someone wants to shut you up, they tell you to eat paper, and your throat gets paper cuts so bad you wish you had a knife in your back.

My homie told me to eat the paper after I cussed him out in math class.

My mom told me to eat the paper because I spilled my cereal on the floor again.

My dad told me to eat the paper because I didn't finish my homework.

It's like telling someone to eat crap, but instead of crap, it's paper you used to wipe that crap from your butt.

My cousin told me to eat the paper after I told him his dog was ugly.

My teacher told me to eat the paper because I talked during the test.

My brother told me to eat the paper because I took his last piece of pizza.

This comes from the drug world. If you mess up a deal, you have to eat all that paper that was covering the drugs like it was your last meal.

My uncle had to eat the paper because he shortchanged the dealer.

My cousin had to eat the paper because he got caught with the wrong stuff.

My dad had to eat the paper because he took the wrong bag.

This means someone is so hot, you'd rather drink their bath water than eat paper.

My crush is so hot, I'd drink her bath water before I ate paper.

My friend’s new girlfriend is so hot, I’d drink her bath water before I ate paper.

My neighbor’s kid is so hot, I’d drink her bath water before I ate paper.

When someone tries to shut you up, they make you eat paper and your throat gets cut up like a meatball with a knife.

My teacher told me to eat the paper after I made a mess in the classroom.

My mom told me to eat the paper because I talked back.

My dad told me to eat the paper because I broke his favorite mug.