My mom was sobbing about her ex at 3 a. m. I asked for my xbox one. She said, 'Eat my tits, I don't even know what that is.'

My mom forgot my birthday because she was too busy eating ice cream and crying. I said, 'Eat my tits, Mom!'

I asked for my xbox one. My mom said, 'Eat my tits, I'm too busy crying about my ex's new cat.'