eat hummus

My mom said she heard loud noises from my room. I said I was just eating hummus. She believed me. Probably because she’s on Reddit.

I told my mom I was eating hummus. She said I should’ve eaten more. I told her I was having sex. She said I should’ve had more hummus.

My mom thinks I just eat hummus. She doesn’t know I also eat my exes.

I went down on my cousin. She said it was like eating hummus. I said it was like being tortured by a Torah.

My friend went down on a girl who looked like she came out of a Bible. He said it was like eating hummus. I said it was like eating the entire Middle East.

I went down on my neighbor. She said it was the best hummus she’d ever had. I said I’d rather eat hummus than her.