Easy Bake Hoe
A Easy Bake Hoe is a woman who tried to be your wife but she only knows how to make things that go in a microwave or an Easy Bake Oven. You're the one who got stuck with the mess.
I married a Easy Bake Hoe and now I eat cereal and she eats ice cream for breakfast.
She said she'd cook. Now I eat noodles and she eats cake for dinner.
I tried to make her a wife but now she eats cake and I eat ramen.