Eastvold

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2 views · Added 14d ago · 3 definitions

If your last name is Eastvold, you just got the biggest dong in the history of dongs. So big it might take out a whole classroom if it sneezes.

My cousin Eastvold walked into a classroom and the whole thing exploded. Literally.

Eastvold tried to do a push-up and the floor broke.

I asked Eastvold how he was and he said, 'I'm fine, just my pants are in pain.'

Eastvold is like a meaty hurricane. It doesn’t just hit you, it hits your whole family and your neighbor’s dog.

Eastvold walked by and my dog ran away screaming.

My grandma said Eastvold was so big, he could bench-press a cow.

Eastvold’s penis is so big, it has its own ZIP code.

If you’re Eastvold, you don’t just have a penis. You have a whole damn army of penises fighting for dominance.

Eastvold tried to tie his shoes and the whole sidewalk fell apart.

My brother Eastvold ate a sandwich and the restaurant collapsed.

Eastvold went to the mall and the escalator broke just looking at him.