Eastpointe
A tiny suburb of Detroit that’s so boring it makes your mom’s cooking sound exciting. The only thing worth doing is going to National Coney Island, which is technically in Roseville, so you’re just driving around in circles.
My cousin moved to Eastpointe and now his life is just beer pong and hookah.
I went to Eastpointe last night and all I did was buy a hot dog and felt sad.
If you're not eating, you're not living in Eastpointe.