Eastern University

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4 views · Added 17d ago · 7 definitions

A tiny, fake Christian school in Philly’s rich neighborhood. They preach about helping the poor, but most of them are rich kids who think they’re better than everyone. It’s full of fake Christians who want to be cool but still believe in God.

My roommate thinks he's a saint because he gave $5 to a homeless guy once. He still uses the same $5 for lunch every day.

My professor cried during a sermon about poverty and then drove a $50,000 car to class.

I tried to be poor for a week and failed because I still bought coffee.

by Slangipedia 14d ago

A church school near Philly where everyone is either super religious, a jock, a drunk, or all three. You might be best friends with someone or get murdered by them. They also think geese are out to get them.

I had a roommate who cried during worship and then got drunk in the dorms.

I saw a guy run after a goose like it was a holy mission.

I tried to be a jock and a drunk and it didn’t work out.

by Slangipedia 14d ago

A cheap Baptist college in Pennsylvania where all the students think they’re perfect. They don’t smoke weed, but they drive to another school just to get high. They act like they’re rich, but they’re just broke and bad at life.

I tried to act like I was perfect and failed because I failed a test.

I drove to another school just to smoke weed and then came back to class.

I thought I was rich and then realized I was broke.

by Slangipedia 14d ago

A cheap school in a town that only has a Walmart and a taco bell. It’s good for teachers, but not much else. You can walk from one end of campus to the other in 20 minutes, but you’ll probably just sit around doing nothing.

I walked from class to class and still had time to sit around doing nothing.

I went to a Walmart and it was the only thing I had to do.

I tried to be a teacher and failed because I didn’t know what a student was.

by Slangipedia 14d ago

A fancy school in Kentucky for cops, firefighters, and people who want to protect stuff. It’s like the Ivy League for people who work with cops and don’t know what they’re doing.

I tried to be a cop and failed because I didn’t know what a badge was.

I took a class on emergency medicine and still didn’t know what a heart attack was.

I went to a police academy and still didn’t know what a cop was.

by Slangipedia 14d ago

A fake school in Michigan that thinks it's fancy. It's good for teachers, but it's trying to be a football school and failing. The whole school is obsessed with football and Trump.

I tried to be a teacher and failed because I didn’t know what a student was.

I tried to be a football player and failed because I didn’t know what a game was.

I tried to be a fan of Trump and failed because I didn’t know who he was.

by Slangipedia 14d ago

A school that wants to be fancy but is just a bunch of broke kids in a dead town. The only thing that's open is a taco bell and sometimes that's not even open.

I tried to be a student and failed because I didn’t know what a class was.

I tried to be a football fan and failed because I didn’t know what a game was.

I tried to eat and failed because the taco bell was closed.

by Slangipedia 14d ago