easter pumpkin

I woke up after the party and thought I was still at the restaurant. Turns out I was in my mom’s basement with a sock on my head.

My kid said, ‘Dad, why are you wearing my pants?’ I said, ‘Why are you wearing my socks?’ And we both cried.

My mom called me an Easter Pumpkin because I tried to cook, text, and juggle at the same time. I burned the pizza and my phone exploded.

My friend said he woke up with a hangover and a tattoo. I said, ‘You’re an Easter Pumpkin.’ He said, ‘I’m a hungover tattooed Easter Pumpkin.’

My brother said he saw a ghost. I said, ‘You’re just an Easter Pumpkin with a beer in your hand.’

I texted my friend: ‘I think I slept with my neighbor’s dog. I’m an Easter Pumpkin.’ He replied, ‘You’re a confused Easter Pumpkin with a beer problem.’

My kid said, ‘Dad, why are you wearing my shirt?’ I said, ‘Why are you wearing my hat?’ And we both yelled, ‘I’m an Easter Pumpkin!’

At work I said, ‘I think I was a chicken last night.’ My boss said, ‘You’re not a chicken, you’re an Easter Pumpkin.’

I told my friend, ‘I think I slept in a pool.’ He said, ‘You’re not a pool guy, you’re an Easter Pumpkin.’