East Jesus Nowhere

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1
A Green Day song that sounds like a priest got high and started screaming about the end of the world. Billie Joe Armstrong wrote it after watching a baby get dunked in a lake like it was a bad decision. It’s so good that even Will Ferrell tried to help sing it, and it still sounded like a church choir had a nervous breakdown.
My mom played this song while she was yelling at the TV during the baptism.
I texted my friend: 'This song is so good, it should be the national anthem of being annoying.'
My pastor called this song 'a satanic trap' and then played it during Sunday school.
2
A place so far out in the middle of nowhere that even the ghosts there have no idea where they are.
I told my friend I was going to East Jesus Nowhere, and he replied, 'You're going to die out there.'
My GPS said 'East Jesus Nowhere' and I believed it. I now live in a ditch.
My dog ran away and came back with a map that said 'East Jesus Nowhere' in big letters.
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