East Cupcake - A place so backwoods, the only thing that ever moves is the

A place so backwoods, the only thing that ever moves is the mail truck and your uncle's beer belly.

East Cupcake is where your grandpa went to jail and still thinks he's the sheriff.

I drove through East Cupcake, and the only sign was a broken “Welcome to Nowhere” banner.

You can’t even get decent pizza in East Cupcake. They make it with ketchup and regret.