East Bridgewater

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2 views · Added 14d ago · 2 definitions

1
A tiny town in Massachusetts where everyone’s related, the pizza is decent, and the only thing bigger than the cows is the amount of junk people buy at Ocean State. The local theater is so broke it probably dreams in dollars.
My cousin’s cousin’s cousin works at Viking Pizza and still thinks it’s the best thing since sliced bread.
I bought a toaster at Ocean State and it didn’t even toast my mom’s hair.
The movie theater tried to raise money by selling tickets for $10 and no one showed up.
2
A sleepy town with more cows than people, where the cops don’t even bother chasing you if you steal a chicken. It’s like the perfect place to live if you hate crowds and have a death wish.
My neighbor’s dog ran away and came back with a chicken from the farm. That’s how we know he’s a thief.
I moved here because I thought it was quiet. Turns out, cows are loud at night.
The only crime here is when the cows eat your lawn and then laugh at you.
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