Easian
Easian is someone from East Asia who probably knows how to do karate, speak four languages, and still has time to make fun of you for not knowing your multiplication tables.
My Easian friend said I’m 'too dumb for this class' because I can’t do basic math.
My Easian uncle called me a 'lazy American' for not cleaning my room.
My Easian neighbor said I’m 'too slow for this world' because I take 10 minutes to eat breakfast.