earthquake battery

Fresh

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A lie you tell with the confidence of a dying man, hoping no one will check the facts before you pass.

'I swear I heard it on the news!', said by someone who turned off the TV 10 minutes ago.

'That’s not a fact, that’s a guess with a cape.', said by a kid who failed science.

'You’re gonna believe me or I’m gonna throw a chair.', said by someone who’s never thrown a chair before.

A made-up story you tell because you’re too lazy to look it up and too proud to admit you’re wrong.

'I read it on the internet!', said by someone who doesn’t know how to use a search bar.

'That’s not a rumor, that’s a fact with a side of doubt.', said by a teacher who’s been wrong before.

'You don’t believe me? I’ll believe myself and you’ll be wrong.', said by someone who’s never been right.

A fact you claim to know, even though you just guessed it and hope no one asks you to prove it.

'I’m 100% sure I heard that on the radio!', said by someone who just turned the radio off.

'You don’t believe me? I’ll believe myself and you’ll be wrong.', said by someone who’s never been right.

'I didn’t make it up, I just got it from a friend who got it from a friend.', said by someone who’s been wrong for years.