Hackey sack saved my life. I had no dates, no friends, and no idea how to keep my socks on. Then I learned hackey sack and now I get laid every Earth Day.

I played hackey sack in the park and got a kiss from a girl. Earth Day is the only day I get a free kiss.

Hackey sack is the Earth Day love language. If you don’t know how to play it, you can’t get laid.