Early Drinking

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Drinking so early you could start a bar fight before your coffee gets hot

I had a shot of tequila at 8 AM. My date is going to die from the vibes.

I drank two beers before my mom even said good morning. She's not happy.

I started drinking at noon. My brain is now a bar.

Getting wasted before you even leave your house because life is too hard

I drank a whole bottle of wine before I got dressed. My pants are now a fashion statement.

I woke up at 9 AM and drank a Monster energy drink. My heart is now a fire alarm.

I drank so much before my date that I forgot my name. My date forgot theirs too.

The art of drinking so early you end up in a restaurant at noon because you’re too wasted to remember your own address

I drank so much before my date that I ended up at a pizza place at 11 AM. The waiter was confused.

I got so wasted before my date that I walked into a laundromat and asked for a drink.

I drank before my date and now I’m at the mall. My date is at the bar.