Early bird gets the turd

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1
You poop in the toilet at night when the house is full of people who are all loud and messy, and you leave it there so the first person to wake up and go pee will get a big ol' surprise that smells like your butt.
I pooped in the toilet at 2 a. m. during my cousin's wedding. My uncle walked in and screamed like he saw a ghost.
My sister took a dump in the middle of the night during the family reunion. My dad walked in and said, 'I thought I was going to die.'
I left a big turd in the toilet at night. My brother woke up and said, 'I'm not going back to sleep.'
2
You take a big dump at night when everyone is still going at it, and the first person to use the bathroom in the morning gets hit with a surprise that's both gross and unforgettable.
I pooped in the toilet at midnight. My mom woke up and said, 'I think I just saw a monster.'
I left a big mess in the toilet at night. My brother came in and said, 'I think I'm going to be sick.'
I took a dump in the toilet at night. My cousin came in and said, 'I can't believe this is happening.'
3
You go number two in the toilet when the house is packed and everyone is making noise, and the first person to go to the bathroom in the morning gets a big, smelly surprise.
I took a dump in the toilet at night. My dad walked in and said, 'I'm going to die.'
I left a big mess in the toilet at night. My sister came in and said, 'I can't breathe.'
I pooped in the toilet at night. My brother came in and said, 'I think I just saw a ghost.'
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