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You poop in the toilet at night when the house is full of people who are all loud and messy, and you leave it there so the first person to wake up and go pee will get a big ol' surprise that smells like your butt.
I pooped in the toilet at 2 a. m. during my cousin's wedding. My uncle walked in and screamed like he saw a ghost.
My sister took a dump in the middle of the night during the family reunion. My dad walked in and said, 'I thought I was going to die.'
I left a big turd in the toilet at night. My brother woke up and said, 'I'm not going back to sleep.'