Ear gauge
Stupid rings that stretch your ears until they look like they're about to fall off. People think it makes them look cool, but I think they're just trying to hide how sad their lives are.
My brother got one and now his ear looks like a cheeseburger got stuck in it.
My teacher got one and now she screams at the kids like they’re her enemies.
My dog got one and now he looks like he’s been tortured by a clown.