Ear Badgers
Tiny sons of bitches that live in your ears and mess with your brain. They make you think your friend just said 'I’m going to the mall' when they really said 'I’m going to kick your ass'.
My brother said 'I’ll be there in five minutes' and I thought he said 'I’ll be there in five seconds' because of Ear Badgers.
I tried to text my crush but Ear Badgers turned 'I like you' into 'you’re a weirdo' and now I’m stuck with the embarrassment of my life.
I answered the door wearing my pajamas because Ear Badgers told me it was my mom when it was actually my neighbor’s dog.