Eail

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To fail a class at SUNY Cortland so bad you get an E instead of an F like you’re trying to be fancy.

I eailed Calculus because I thought it was just numbers, not actual torture.

My GPA is now a dumpster fire because I eailed Biology.

I eailed History because I fell asleep during the final and woke up in the 1800s.

When you get an E at SUNY Cortland because you didn’t even try and now you’re stuck in the same class next year.

I eailed English because I thought writing essays was a myth.

I eailed Chemistry and now I have to see my professor every single day.

I eailed Physics because I got confused between gravity and my life choices.

To get an E at SUNY Cortland because you’re too lazy to show up and you’re now stuck with the same class forever.

I eailed Math because I thought it was a phase I’d grow out of.

I eailed Art because I drew a stick figure and called it a masterpiece.

I eailed Spanish because I thought the teacher was speaking in a foreign language.

When you eail a class at SUNY Cortland and it’s like the professor is personally out to get you.

I eailed Philosophy because I had to think, and I hate thinking.

I eailed Statistics because numbers are my nemesis.

I eailed Music because I can’t tell a note from a joke.

To get an E at SUNY Cortland because you’re so bad at the class it’s like you’re haunting it.

I eailed Algebra because I turned equations into existential crises.

I eailed Biology because I confused cells with my ex.

I eailed Literature because I read the whole book and still didn’t get it.