Eagon
A Eagon is a drunk who thinks they’re the best at everything and doesn’t believe anyone else could be. They show up to every event, they talk too much, and they expect you to listen.
The Eagon showed up to the baby shower and said, ‘This baby is gonna be rich, and I’m gonna be the richest.’ I didn’t believe him. He cried.
At the funeral, the Eagon said, ‘Grandma’s dead, but she’s still better than my ex.’ My ex was there. He laughed.
I called the Eagon to say I was going to sleep. He said, ‘You’re gonna die alone again?’ He was right.