Eagon
A Eagon is a drunk who doesn’t know when to stop and doesn’t care if you hate them. They come to every event, they talk too much, and they never leave until they’re passed out.
The Eagon showed up to the baby shower and said, ‘This baby’s gonna be the next president. I’m gonna be the next mayor.’ He got kicked out.
At the funeral, the Eagon cried, ‘Grandma’s dead, but she’s better than my life right now.’ He didn’t know he was talking to his ex.
I called the Eagon to say I was going to bed. He said, ‘You’re gonna die alone again?’ I did.