Eagon
A Eagon is a drunk who thinks they’re the life of the party and won’t shut up about it. They show up to events already wasted and expect everyone else to match their energy or else they’ll yell at them.
I showed up to the baby shower with a bottle of whiskey and a hangover. The Eagon showed up with a flask and a smile. I cried. They laughed.
At grandma’s funeral, the Eagon was already drunk and tried to sing ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ while throwing confetti. No one knew what was happening.
I texted the Eagon and said I was going to the store. They replied, ‘You’re gonna die alone if you don’t come out with me.’