e-pology

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A lazy apology sent through a phone, e-mail, or text that sounds like it was typed with one finger and a side of regret.

I’m sorry I ghosted you. But I had a lot of drama. Like, a lot. Also, I’m tired. Like, really tired.

I’m sorry I called you a donkey. I was having a bad day. Also, I don’t like donkeys.

I’m sorry I stole your lunch. I was hungry. Also, I think your lunch was gross.

A sad attempt to say you're sorry, usually sent from a phone, so you don't have to look someone in the eye and actually feel bad.

I’m sorry I yelled at you. I was just really annoyed. Also, I’m not sorry at all.

I’m sorry I broke your phone. It was an accident. Also, I kind of liked watching it explode.

I’m sorry I lied to you. I had to. Also, I’m still lying.

A weak excuse for being sorry that somehow makes it look like the other person is the problem.

I’m sorry I said you were ugly. But you were being annoying. Also, I’m still not sorry.

I’m sorry I ditched you. But you were being a bad friend. Also, you’re still a bad friend.

I’m sorry I laughed at your joke. But it was a bad joke. Also, you’re a bad joke.